hard time..

what a hard time that i having now.. no one will understand what situation that i am standing at.. not even my family members know everything about me.. people used to be selfish.. no matter what had happen, is none of their business.. i should just become like that.. everything that happen to them, also none of my business...

what the hell is happening to me, LORD..? have You forsaken me..? have You forgot about me.? now, i'm in a very hard situation, and all i want is Your help.. but never that i seen miracles happen to me.. is it i have done something wrong that LORD, You don't loves me anymore.. if so, my belief should be a wrong belief.. i thought that GOD will have mercy, abundantly loves... i'd repent, LORD.. and i have ask for Holy Spirit.. i always hope that miracles will happen to me.. but nothing happen to me and all things just become worst... i'm not as tough as You thought about me.. i'm just a normal guy who live in a reality world.. i am tired to live like this.. if You want me to be in this situation until i die.. why don't You just take my spirit away and let it be done just like this.. why do You still want me to suffer like this..? i thought i have choose the right path that You are delighted with... i thought every thing were under Your planned.. but it seems like none of its are right.. it is better me to leave the world now than to suffer this much...