Sunday....

Wow.... so so so so TIRED today.... coz only sleep for 5 hours but work for 14 hours.... thanks God for the blessing.... coz He lead me all the way through today... He give me strength to work all day long.... He gives me what i need and even more.... really thanks God... You are worth of my praise and You are the only one i worship and relying on.... Thanks God....

friday night at papar church service...

it is the very 1st time i going to papar.... there's quite silent at night.... only have some people eating, drinking and chatting at some restaurant.... my fren and i searching for the wrong direction at the 1st time... result is we turning a big round at papar... but thanks God, coz lastly we manage to arrive the church... although the church is quite small... but it is a great church... the situation is so comfortable.... i like it so much.... hahaha... and i've know so new frens there... coz we know it at I SO youth camp.... ^^... it is an enjoyable trip.... Thanks GOd for leading me through....

2 weeks time...

there's 2 weeks time from today that i've to stay at church... so, what the points that i should stay at my uncle's there..? as he said before "help me watch out the house when i am travel"... the result is, when they are traveling.. i gonna move out to live... is it what it mean by help me watch out for the house..? i really dun understand.. i say wanna move out.. but my dad said can't.... haiz... what the meaning of life when every move u have inside a house being watch every single second.... i really gonna crazy.....

down.....

hahaha.... dunno what i have done.... a person tell me that she hate me.... wakakaka... and this mean that i have to evaluate myself once again lor... i know that i quite "tao ren yen" coz i dun live the ways they wan too.... but it is my fault..? someone ask me to me myself... then other say dun like this, dun like that....i know there's no 100% perfect characteristic and personality... but then, do i have to live the ways they wan me to live..? i just wan be myself, to know some one new in my life... but this also my fault...? i know i should blame no one.... haiz... xuan le ba... tun liao na kou qi.... and dun assume me will treat u as fren again... i won't....

sunday....

is a tiring sunday for me... coz morning 5am until now (8.20pm) din rest..... driving, sunday service, sound system, instrumenting..... just no time to rest..... but still have to give glory to God.... as He have bless me.... He just an awesome God that never fails me.... praise to Him, Lord God.... in everything i've done is for You, Lord... although my legs are just painful... but it is worth... because I've done everything for You.... because You are worth for everything....

saturday.....

today, i quite boring... although i have things to do... but there's kinda feeling of emptiness... what is that means about...? why do i have this kind of feeling...? God, what should i do..? nothing there's more i can do..? God, whatever is the situation; i shall no fear at all... coz i believe that You were here with me.... although i feel emptiness... but i know that u wanna shape me.... God, lead me to the way You wan me to go.... use me as Your weapon to fight against in the war of spiritual... i know i am not holy, coz i am a sinner... but God, i know u loves me... as You sent Jesus Christ here to die for me long ago.... thanks God..... for Your everlasting love.... thanks Lord for everything You have done for me.....

I'm back....

Finally i've back to a place at kk where i can only stay under a roof of other which i have limited freedom.... maybe some other ppl feel that i'm so xing fu coz have relatives here give me a place to stay..... cook for me to eat... but sometimes it is a way to control me.... sometimes i feel that is hard to me to manage my time... coz i can't always out for small group... or other program that church have... coz i've to stay at home to be a "good boy"..... well, i trying to become the "good boy" which they wan too... but then, i will lose my real self.... how then...? is really hard to live under other roof.... coz have to become who they wish me to become.... i really out of my mind.... wakakaka... just hope this will be end very very soon..... God, lead me through it.... thanks Lord God for the blessing that You have done for me.....