Who do you think you are.?

Who the hell that you think you are..? By what authority that you think you can command or giving order to me..? You think you are the boss around and can give order to me..? You are definitely wrong, you moron.. You don't have the authority to do so also.. you are just a jerk and a bitch that always wearing a fake mask and act cute.. from the moment i saw your stupid face, it just make me want to vomit.. your stupid face really so suck and so fake.. act innocent, hardworking, and even act that you want to fall down.. your stupid acting are just a failure.. maybe its work for others, but for me.. sure i will not being deceive by you... and one more thing, you are just a dog that following others tail and style.. don't think that you are so great and being proud of it.. for me, you just a following tail dog.. a dog will only barks.. when need help, act so innocent.. when being reject and don't want to help, straight change to a dog that only know how to barks.. don't think yourself so great lar, dog... a stupid barking dog...

Feel so DISAPPOINTED...!!!

Really really disappointed.. just by two being attack by two surprising news which are bad to me.. Although i know that it is not good for me to compare with each other.. But it still hurt me and my heart feel the pain.. I do actually can say I have put a lot of effort in the things i did.. But my marks are not higher than a person who just prepare for the observations.? I have put a lot of efforts into the class.. However, people just will judge according to what they saw.. I should learn that earlier.. No need to be so hardworking and put too much efforts into something that people cannot see.. How doomed I am.. For the past 14 weeks, I put a lot of efforts into the students.. The result that i got was just not as what I hope for.. How disappointed I am now.. Felt like there is no hope for me already.. Really cannot hope for what i have planned earlier.. Well, everything have been settled and just hope that there's miracle that will happen in my life.. Otherwise, in the future will be my time to suffer for the whole of my life..

GOD, I believe that everything that happen must got the reasons.. I also believe that everything that happened today also were in Your planning.. Please do hear my prayer, O LORD.. I really need to score a high marks to glorify Your Name and also to lighten up my family's burden.. May all the Glory and Honor be to You, my GOD..

Awful April...

What an awful April.. I'm trying so hard to get my situation to calm down.. However, things were not follow in what was already planned earlier.. I'd tried so hard so that my teaching practical may grade at least an A to aim for a higher cgpa.. But things were not goes as planned.. The course leader went to observed by a sudden and not in a good timing.. He came in the most worst timing and the most busy time.. How can a person be always prepared for everything when busy.. However, it finished and past.. What I can do is just pray hard that he will not downgrade my grade just by the 30 minutes observation.. Secondly, I'm just very unlucky for this month as I also being observed by "Nazir".. What an unfortunately month.? As a trainee, yes, it is a very good experience.. But by the meantime, wouldn't it was too much for me to carry.? Sometimes, I just think that "it is just a coincidence or it is a trial for me.?" Well, that also had past as time never stop ticking.. Thanks GOD for guiding me to have a good ending of the month of April. Finally, before April comes to the end, I've two observation by my mentor in a row for 2 days straight in a week.. What a tough week that I have been through.. However, for the last observation, I'd have compliments and improvement in my teaching.. Thank you so much to my mentor who taught me a lot in teaching methods, classroom management and etc. For the coming day, I have to prepared for my last observation by my supervisor from my university. I hope that everything will run smoothly and will get great compliment for my teaching practical. Just hope that I can apply the ptptn change to scholarship to avoid my debts and the lighter my family burden. Lastly, the time has come to almost the end of my teaching practical.. I so miss my students.. They all are just like the little angels that teach me, play with me and also have fun with me.. Although sometimes, they are quite naughty.. But just shows that they are kids and enjoying their lives..

Besides of my teaching practical, I do also have to faced a lot of gossips.. Yes, is gossips.. I never thought that I would ever have gossips over here at here, KK.. It is just too terrible.. What had push me down at my hometown, once again have come to against me.. Well, i guess that what we called "wherever the people are, the gossips will never fade from them".. Well, I would not like to explains what they have gossips about me because I would never want to hear that anymore as I have bored of hearing that kind of things.. I'm trying not to listen and talk gossips about others, just simply because I don't want that kind of things come against me again.. I also knows that the impact of the gossips.. However, things were not run as what I thought.. What do you not like others to do to you, please do not do to others.. But, reality no matter how the things go, others will still do it even though you don't do it.. Moreover, others will not stop gossips about you.. For me, never try to explains, never try to join in the gossips, and think positively.. That's my cure.. If you explains, others will think that you hiding the truth.. If you, join the gossips, what different that you with the others.. Think positively is because that you is a good topic for them to discuss.. Means you are far more better than them.. They just simply jealous of your life and try to push you down to your knee.. I'm tired facing those fake faced.. You always mentions that others not believing in you, stab you, and against you.. Have you turn to their side and think what makes them do those things to you.? Is it really your personalities got problems.? Have you ever think of evaluate yourself.? I'm not going to judge you because I'm not believing in you anymore.. You not worth it.. The moral value for the lesson is that, no matter how strong you are, you still will being influenced by your peer and your surrounding.. That's the force which push you to change.. It's only you didn't realized that you already changed and not others have change.. 

GOD, only You know what the situation I'm having now.. Only You, who will always by my side.. I would like to say thank You so much as You never forsaken me and You gave me my earthly family who always take care of me and listen to me when I needed to talk to someone.. GOD, You will never make me fail as everything on earth are Yours.. Your timing are the best and Your planned will always success.. Oh LORD, please continue to bless me and provide me with everything that I needed.. Thank You, LORD for hearing to my prayer.. Thank You, FATHER for always be with me..