who can help me.....

it seems like everything have change.. but not the other ppl... only me... just feel that inside my heart.... deep deep deep inside so empty.... and loneliness..... how come like this...? although i've made myself full of work but just din feel any happiness and fulfillment... so empty...... very empty... like a basket without any of the things inside.... and all the "last memory" came back to me.... it is just haunt me..... everyday every night.... never leave.... so hard... to fight against its... do it is a test for me...? how can i solve this..? how can i pass through it....? any advise..? none of my nearby know how i am feeling... no one know anything about me.... not a single too.... when i am sad, no one know.... i just can be sad in front of them... coz Christmas coming, everyone were so happy.... but only i alone who sad.... how come..? do there really nothing can help me cheer up..? i just can't feel any happiness although i've help in many Christmas program... but it just nothing at the end of the program..... i saw others smiling and laughing happily and i wonders why i can't.... i just can't smile and laugh....