Back to Sandakan lur...

Finally can back to Sandakan for 1 week... quite happy because can be with my family... but I think will be bored also... because Sandakan don't have place to enjoy also... just got place for eat... hahaha.. need to eat as many as i can... cause I'm too thin already...

Don't know why, suddenly I felt so lonely... the feeling so hard to explain... just like I'm being deport far from anyone else... just like I'm alone in the world... although I know God will be with me always... but the feeling so depressing... feel so hard... feel so miserable... Did I really alone in the world that I am...? Do there anyone can answer me that I not...?

I just like I at behind the bar although I am not... but my coverage of life so small... just a few place... did i really this unfortunate that no one may understand what the things that i need... i only need a very little thing... CARE..... that's only what i need... family, friends..... somehow like just feel I'm so lonely although I've friends and family... everything seems like useless to me... a phone which didn't ring if i don't find people.... a computer will not pop up any contact if i don't find people... do i really that failure that no one will chat with me or there really nothing can chat with me..? I know I'm not the worst... others i don't know, i just know now I so lonely....

Do there really nothing that I do may get agreement from people..? It just like anything that i done was wrong... never get agreement from people... make me feel like I'm so useless.... or I'm just a coward that in everyone mouth..? Why there so many "why" in my life..? AH............!!!!!

Bored bored bored....

Well, although feel happy when holiday break already start.. but is quite bored... no transport, no money... nowhere to go... just stay back at home.... almost "fat mou"... there are somethings that i am thinking.. Why do people will always sins against God...? not only non believer, but even believer also will "walk out from the pathway"... how can we help this kind of believer...? counsel..? or just giving advise...? praying....? i have notice that many believer also will done things against the "law" and pray for repent and forgiveness... but sooner or later, they done the same mistake... is this mean repent to God..? although i know there were no perfect human, however don't we need to help this people ma..? and how can we help them...? i really don't know what to do.... satan always use people weakness to attack people... although we know it, but still many are being deceiving... do there nothing can fight against people weakly heart to make it stronger...? God's words are powerful, but do believer really remember all the verses thy read and memorize...? just hope God may help others......
you
and me....

What a hot weekend.....!!!!

Phew... the weekend was so hot... day and night also the same... today, although tired but happy... from morning, go for praise and worship at 6.30am but need to wake up an hour early... hahaha... well, if i got car here sure no need this early... but is okay la... and at the morning service, sermon was told by a guy from Australia named Jack if i'm not wrong... hahaha... quite good de... at least i've learned a lot.... hahaha...

then go to pastor's house... watch tv... hehehe... so relax... however quite hot... make me sweating... by wearing formal shirt... go out walk a while oledy sweat... and help in packaging the burgers for sunday sch children... so nice to smell of burger.. make ppl hungry only... haha... at least i've tried one.. not bad also the taste... although dun have much ingredients.. but it's good also (maybe i'm too hungry).. hahahaha... but really tasty...

at night, stay alone at home cooking... next time need ask my mum teach me more cooking so that i no need so bored always eat the same thing...

Tired because of waiting....

Wow... What a tired day... both mind and physically tired... newly record since 2 years that i didn't wait a person for an hour... today i taste it again... waiting a person for an hour by standing near my uni... can u imagine how tired it is for a just recover from a illness people....? that tired man.... somehow still need to wait... coz if not can't back home...

I thought to starting do find information for my essay and assignment after i back home... who knows, everything was planned ruin because of a person also... i think is God planning gua... everything planned was ruin, so sad.... make the time more waste... haiz... need to rush the assignment and essay again....

What a bored day...!

Today wake up at 10 something in the morning.. is quite a good rest... however after woke up, need to rush for uni exercise and quiz again... is quite a tough time... cause every thing about philosophy and policies... so hard man.... online search also need a lot of time to find the right one.. plus, not every question also can find the answer... darn.... already pass half day, i give up finding the information... let it be...

How come online also will bored....? didn't people said that internet will make people interesting and addictive..? i feel so bored.... do there anyone can help a bored, lonely guy..? even online playing game seems like childish.. cause all the simple game.. just only blame that i dunno how to download online game to play... hahaha... blaming myself pula... well, just hope the time will not continue like this... try to figure out a way to make my life interesting... hahaha

What a great lying....

Somehow, even my relatives also deceiving me... how can a person doing like this.... do there must deceiving then can earn more..? aren't God will supply everything to us fairly..? so why do we still greed others things... haiz... make me so blur... I'm quite sad when i know i was being deceit by my own relatives... however, God tell me not to angry... but forgive... well, what can i do...? can someone tell me..? i so miserable... do there anyone can help me....!!!!????