useless.....!!!?

sometimes really feel that i so useless.... always ma fan others to plan how to fetch me to church and also to other place.... make them more busy..... haiz.... just because of no "legs" here.... if got, then no need ma fan anymore... is this a trial for me...? or just my problem...? now need to always rev and other to fetch me to church..... uni....... haiz...... just hard to think if i got a car.... coz it is just an impossible task..... will not happen...... please... make myself more available in church also need to think too much ma..? why can't just like last time.....? no need to care too much.... just go and serve.... it is my face more important than God...? leaf ah leaf.... think wisely.... think mature a bit la please..... dun think the thing "ng deng sai" la..... no use de.... just let God arrange la.... haiz..... car, car and car... please forget about it..... dun think car anymore leaf.... there is impossible to have a car for u now..... hmmmm... day dreaming..... need walk to uni there le tomolo.... haiz.... need to walk for 1 hour again..... what a length..... haiz..... God please bless tomolo weather dun have rain....