the last day of jan 2010....

Today the last day of jan 2010... it is also the last day that i stay at my relatives there.... quite happy and quite nervous... as i can move and also dunno what room will i live in tomolo..... it seems like dangerous... coz living upside of a pub... and i feel that it will be very noisy..... coz of the rock music at night.... will disturbing my night time.... @@.... and also the ppl who drank too much... haiz... about the social drinker... crazy de... touch a bit and start to beat others.... haiz.... without any mind to think....

oh God, my Lord.... please bless me wif my new room and protect me from all the temptation and also harmful.....

bad day......

What a day.... dammit..... oledy need to walk to uni la... walk there need at least 40 minutes... and almost accident for twice.... haiz.... walking also almost got accident... then at uni also need being scold by admin in-charger... and being penalty for Rm 100.... dammit... really dammit.... haiz...... then when lecture about pendidikan moral.... the lecturer only know said about love one another.... padahal, the muslim burned the church.... said their muslim how good how good... teach ppl how la how la... haiz... all bull shit.... then say all about the national acts.... only one for the good of ppl... then all act, all for their muslim one... fair wah.... protect their bumi putera wah.... then nation no need to protect lo.... the national law also bull shit one... if not because of our chinese race, they can be so rich and competence.... the malay only know how to eat and bullshit.... ask them to work, die la.... haiz..... oledy hurt my waist last week... then this week need walk for 40 minutes not only once but 3 times in two days... not the waist pain again.... and legs like no feeling oledy.... haiz...... how come can be so bad today....? (the muslim for certain ppl only not all)

however, there's still got one thing need to thanks God... while i walk home, the sky full of cloud.... just like make a shelter for me.... and it is almost rain... i just pray that God will not let the rain fall until i back home... it is really fall when i reach home.... thanks God for safety journey....

useless.....!!!?

sometimes really feel that i so useless.... always ma fan others to plan how to fetch me to church and also to other place.... make them more busy..... haiz.... just because of no "legs" here.... if got, then no need ma fan anymore... is this a trial for me...? or just my problem...? now need to always rev and other to fetch me to church..... uni....... haiz...... just hard to think if i got a car.... coz it is just an impossible task..... will not happen...... please... make myself more available in church also need to think too much ma..? why can't just like last time.....? no need to care too much.... just go and serve.... it is my face more important than God...? leaf ah leaf.... think wisely.... think mature a bit la please..... dun think the thing "ng deng sai" la..... no use de.... just let God arrange la.... haiz..... car, car and car... please forget about it..... dun think car anymore leaf.... there is impossible to have a car for u now..... hmmmm... day dreaming..... need walk to uni there le tomolo.... haiz.... need to walk for 1 hour again..... what a length..... haiz..... God please bless tomolo weather dun have rain....

Glory Be To GOD.....

Thanks Lord God for You have supplied what i need today..... This is what had happen...

last night, i am still wandering how i can go to sch with the car almost finish the fuel, so i pray and i tell my fren the situation i facing at... then he told me that, he do told other about my situation and they all pray for me.... although quite ashame because the unfortunate things being told to others... however, i still wandering how to solve the problem next day.... when i start the car, it look still the same.... however, when i drive.... the car fuel needle din get lower but get higher... then when almost arrive uni, the needle seems like back to the alphabet E (which means end)..
then i think i should go and refuel it Rm 5 (because the car wasn't mine ^^) and of coz the main reason is i dun have much money... when i finish study and drive... the needle of the fuel there raise again.... so, while driving i keep praying that God blessed me... thank you Lord.... finally i din go to refuel it, because of starving... however, i succeeded back home safely and the fuel back to its own place again.... Thanks To Be God, for a blessing day... Glory Be To GOD.....

all is about money...

everything in the world about money.... MONEY.......!!!! dammit... who design the money...? making all the people around the world die because of the paper with a head and number.... people work until die, hungry until die, think a way to make it... just because of the money.... haiz... because of money, relationship also can throw it away.....

the different from buddha and christian ( i mean only from my relatives ), Rev Aaron will help me when i in need of money... however his sis, the buddha girl will not and always rush me about the rent... did i will run away from it...? haiz.... oledy so poor le wah... still wanna push me fast fast give wah... u need money, but then i dun need le wor..? i din eat breakfast and lunch at ur house le wah... it takes me a lot of money to buy food for me de leh... i only got RM 200 for a month... how can i use it when i need to eat where the food here so expensive.... haiz.... i oledy only eat biscuit for my breakfast and lunch, and only eat a few one because scare the biscuit finish fast.... haiz.... din try to think about my situation.... just know how to think about the money.... and i dun like most is u used my name to take money from ur dad... shit to u.... !@#$%^&.... dammit.....

听祷告的主。。。

我知道你与我同在。。。 哈哈。。。在我主的地方，周围都有傻狗。。。看人都会咬的（除了它们的主人）。。 当我要走出去外面买点东西，既然被我遇见他们。。它们好像要咬我。。 那时，我就祷告。。。神听我的祷告，就立刻帮助我。。那个狗立刻就坐在马路上的旁边。。。让我很顺利的可以去买东西。。。哈哈哈。。。。真的很感谢上帝。。。因我听过另据说过那只狗追过他。。。差一点就被咬到。。。 幸好我没被狗追。。。。

终于开学了。。。听老师说，好像很难。。。开始觉得有点害怕。。。不知道会读到什么东西出来。。。 我知可以说经历而为。。。希望不会太难，也希望可以靠的好成绩。。。

difficult life.....

这世界真的没钱就不能活下去吗。。？ 难道没钱会死吗。。？ 真的搞不懂。。。。 想找个房间都很难。。。 一间房都需要八百零几。。。 想独立一个人住都不可以。。。 就是因为没钱。。。 我真的很受。。。 每天都要忍耐人家的对我作的东西。。。 因为住在人家的地方。。。。
上帝啊，是否我就要这样活下去。。。。 真的很难受。。。 主啊，您有听我的祷告吗。。？

It is God's calling or just my desire...?

feeling weird while chatting wif a fren named Terry about the vocation camp.. it just like wanna join the camp... however the camp is for full time worker in church.... the problem is now i studying at uni now.. until half le.. really God calling to serve Him..? do anyone can tell me what should i do now...? which way do i walk...? how can i make my choices....? feel so blur now..... very confuse.... oledy got one prob haven't solve yet, then comes another... T.T....

A new year...

2010 come..... hopefully can have an enjoyable year this year... can have many many happy experiences compare to sad one... a new year a new vision..... hope i can get what i wish this year.... however, i know it is not so easy..... very weird one, when i at sdk, feel so bored and wish can come to kk... but when the last day at sdk, feel dun wanna leave..... now so miss home town oledy.... well, hope this sick won't last too long.... ^^
dun write le... wanna clean up.... bye