After a trip from Lahad Datu, where I am physically and mentally were so weak that all the problems come at the same time..
Before that, let's talk about the trip to Lahad Datu.. It is a good trip for me to gain some experience. Thanks GOD that I have joined the trip. Thanks for His guidance all the way to LD and also back to SDK. My colleagues and I be able to spend the budget wisely. And it ran smoothly for me (I don't know about my colleagues' viewpoint). We be able to find a hotel for overnight and quite cheap for 2 double rooms. Although the rooms were not really nice but it is just a place for me to cover my head overnight. So, it isn't a problem. Secondly, the education fair at SMK Agaseh was a nice experience for me. And I'm very glad to that I'd met one of my course-mate. For such a long that we didn't meet up. Have some time chit-chatting with him make my time. The counselors (teachers) were very nice. I can see that some of the students were very interesting in the course that my institute offered. Maybe due to the course fees: Free Of Charge.
Well, here comes the problems. After take some time to discuss with my mother, all the problems that my family actually are facing were appeared to me. Whether it is my fault or not, I think I have some responsibility that I have to carried although I have done my responsibility for my family. I always ask myself, why do i have such family? And I always answer it that GOD puts me in here for His reason. It is just that I haven't find out the reason yet. The problems that my family face which the source of the problem is money. People are fighting for such a paper. Such a shame. I didn't mean that money is not important. The important is that how we manage our money.
Secondly, why do I have such brothers (I'm not trying to compare with others)? Isn't it is a responsibility that we should take that we need to take care our daily lives needs after we have a work? Such a big guy but don't know how to carry such responsibility? People often said that youngest son in the family was the son who will being care most. It is definitely not for me. Since I work, I seldom ask money from my parents (only if I really don't have money). On the other hand, will give money for my mother. If you don't have such ability, then don't make it hard for family. "Don't have such big head, then don't wear such big hat." You're burdening the family only. Think about it. Please use your brain. Accept people advises. Don't only think about your needs while abandon others needs and burden.
There's also one thing that always bother me. Why most of my family members are selfish? I really don't understand. Always think of themselves. Never care about the needs and the problems of the family. If you don't think that this is your family, just leave the family. It is better for you to leave than to contribute the problems to the family. You guys are really sucks. If you don't care about the family, just leave. Already not be able to take care yourself, then go to take care your partner. And make the burden more heavy. Of course you seems like don't have problem. You just make the burden heavier for the family and you just don't care about it. Don't know whether your brain made out from what.
O Lord, please guild me through the problems that my family faced. I know that You won't gave us the problems that above our ability to solve. I need Your guidance. I need Your wisdom, O Lord. Please place Your Love, Peace, Hope and Joy in my family. You know my problems more than I do. You will always by my side. You're Love. You're merciful. Please hear my prayer, I cry out to You, O Lord.
In the name mighty name of Jesus Christ, I prayed. Amen.
~ Leif Chin ~
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